August 19, 2010

"Just listen to the music...the wonderful moments..."-Mr. Dudley Davies

Saturday, August 9, 2010

This morning my dad told me something about heaven that I will always hold in my mind...a beautiful "mind picture."


He told me that when I get to heaven, I will be able to dance all the time. He said that I will be able to leap from one constellation to the next. Isn't that a lovely thing to think about-a red-haired dancing girl in a white frock leaping from the moon to Jupiter?


If that's how it will be-to leap, suspended in the air, flying, my feet pedaling through the stars, the sweet wind of the universe blowing in my face-I can't wait to get to heaven.

Tuesday August 10, 2010

I love the movie "Nadia" about beautiful gymnast Nadia Comaneci and her journey from becoming a jumper-wearing Romanian school girl who did carwheels in the school yard to a determined gymnast who earns the first perfect 10 score in gymnastics history.

At the very beginning of the movie, when Bela Karolyi first spies Nadia doing amateur cartwheels, he approaches her and asks,


"Do you think it's possible for a little girl to fly?"


That's exactly how I feel when I'm dancing with Mr. Davies...like I can fly.

Friday, August 6, 2010

My mind is on fast-forward mode. It's absolutely driving me mad. There's something inside of me, deep inside my gut that's so uneasy


That call from Mr. Davies on Saturday was a HUGE event in my life. It's turned out to be a HUGE decision as well. All of a sudden, I am faced with this haunting question of whether I want to be a professional ballerina or not. I've met many a dancer who has had to face this same decision which is somewhat of a consolation but not much.


I am an artist. My mind is constantly wired on creativity. I'm extremely perseptive. I can focus on one person at the library or at the check-out counter of Walmart, just really focus on them-what their life must be like, their past. I am a writer, a painter, a singer, a dancer. I do and love it all.


This is why I'm scared of taking from Mr. Davies. I'm afraid that my creativity will be slowly narrowed down and that all I'll know will be ballet.


I'm fascinated by ballet, I mean absolutely fascinated by it. And I really believe this fascination began when I started taking ballet from Mr. Davies.


Is it enough to take from Mr. Davies just to take from him? I honestly have no idea the purpose I have for taking from him. All I know is that it will change my life to be his student.


He will be my mentor, not just in ballet but in life. I have this deep sense that he and I have more in common than just a love of dance. He used to be a journalist, a goal I want to achieve in my life and that I have no doubt of becoming.


I know that my mind will burst with writing ideas after each of our one-on-one classes. Of that, I am absolutely positive.


But will it all be for nothing if I don't eventually join a professional ballet company? Will I regret it if I do? Will I regret it if I don't?


Last night, I sat naked in my shower, the water sprinkling on my body. The shower is where I hear God sometimes. Maybe it's because for once I'm in a place where something is constant-the sound of the water as it sprays out like rain.


I was second guessing myself as I sat there.


"Is this a mistake?...But I really want to do this...I HAVE to do this."


Back and forth, back and forth my brain rocked until all of a sudden I closed my eyes and said,


"God, what do I do?"


It was weird because it was as if God took my jolting brain in his hands and just held it, giving me a moment's peace.


When I closed my eyes, everything stopped. Even the sound of the water went mute, as if my ears closed up. Everything stopped only to start back up again when I finished asking,

This is not me, but it represents exactly how I felt.

"God, what do I do?"

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Today at church I kept having this special, almost beaming feeling run through my body. "I'm going to be taught by Mr. Dudley Davies, one of the first dancers of the Royal Ballet." I felt important, yet humbled.

Me trained by a dancer of the Royal Ballet of London? I wanted to tell everyone I met. I must be the luckiest girl in the world! He's a legend...a legend willing to teach me, a pale-skinned red-head who has nothing to her name but who loves to dance more than anything in the entire world.

Ever since I got the call from him yesterday, I've been walking on air. The bottom of my feet have crumbs on them from dancing in my kitchen. I am Angelina Ballerina, annoying my mother by forgetting to put the coffee filters away because I am yet again swept into another dance.

Mr. Davies loves to dance just like I do. He's passionate about sharing his love for ballet through teaching. Once, after one of his open teen/adult ballet classes, I asked him what he had planned for his weekend. He responded with giant admiration yet his words flowed as if they were completely second nature.

"Oh, just preparing for my class."

That's passion.

And I must confess, he wasn't preparing to teach professionals...just people who needed to move. As my director Kevyn Robertson would say, "people who are passionate about the project."

Mr Davies didn't care how good the people he taught were. He was concerned with instilling an appreciation for ballet into each of us, in giving us a yearning to move our limbs in grace. He looked for the good in us and made us all feel beautiful.

Do you know what it's like to be standing at bar and to have a little, old man who has worked with absolute ballet gods tell you,

"You look lovely, you know that?"

I do.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Today will forever go down in history...well, at least the history of my life. Years from now, when I scramble through the page leaves of my memory, this day will resonate.
         
Today is the day that will change everything in my life.  It will be the day when I actually, for the first time, burst into tears of joy. Today is the day when my beloved teacher Mr. Davies told me that he would train me in that fantastic art of ballet.
        
Mr. Davies is a short, jolly gent from England. He is 82-years old and his life has been led a dancer's life.
        
 I started taking ballet from Mr. Davies two years ago, and I must confess, that I was extremely nervous to take from this ballet legend.
        
I had it in my naive little head that this man, who although much past his prime, could lift his leg higher than 90-degrees, would be mean, tough. I thought he would be that kind of teacher who thinks "he's all that" because of his elite dancer background which includes training at the Royal Ballet and heading up ballet instituitions in South Africa and Iran.
         
I could slap myself in the face today for having that mindset because that man has become the most inspiring teacher and dearest friend to me. I fell in love with him the moment he made some friendly comment about my red, curly hair at my first class with him.
         
At that moment, he and I were connected. It was divine, I'm sure. I've become the number one advocate of believing that God puts two people into each other's life to teach one another.
        
I have learned so much from Mr. Davies in more than just ballet. I'm not quite sure what he's learned from me, but there has and always will be something unbelievably special about the relationship I have with my ballet teacher.
       
His dear, tender English-accented voice will always comfort me.

Tamara Rojo playing Isadora Duncan-Reminds me of myself because of the red hair

      
I keep grabbing my heart. It is so filled with happiness that it feels as if it might pop right out of my chest...this must be passion!